My goodness, it feels a long long while indeed since I was last here. The Finland conference was but three months ago, but conceptually is much further away. Somehow taking a summer off has given me the distance I needed to recharge my academic self-confidence and creativity. And after the madness of June and three conferences almost back-to-back, I feel like I can face anything now. Anything. Famous last words..?
Yes, June was too busy really to take in anything much: the Warwick postgraduate conference was fine, but I was tired and a little under-organised, and didn't really make the most of it as an opportunity to engage with another research community. My presentation went well, though, and my audience of 7 asked some stimulating questions and got a bit of chat going, which was a change from my previous conference. The Manchester School of Education Student Conference was also (more or less) fine, though IT felt rather tired and was certainly poorly organised - the chair for my session announcing, on entering the room, that we actually had 10 minutes to present instead of the scheduled 20, with a hurried compromise for 15 negotiated just as I was about to start speaking - but it was good to see what my colleagues are up to, and a useful opportunity to air some of my thoughts about Bakhtin. I do think now, though, that there is much room for improvement in my presentations: the Finland conference, where I was presenting for the first time, was really just about getting it done, about reaching that milestone; but with the other two, and particularly my Manchester presentation, it became clear to me that I'm too wordy, too complex, and essentially presenting a condensed written text. I think perhaps I'm so complacent about my written communicative ability that I expect this to carry over into my presentations, and of course it doesn't. This will be a focus for this year, starting with the Society for Research into Higher Education Newer Researchers' Conference in Newport in December: I'll be presenting my thoughts on motivation and critical EAP to an interdisciplinary group of HE researchers, and will be unable to assume anything like the level of knowledge and expertise of my previous audiences. The first of many challenges this year...
My submission to Gender and Education was rejected, which was far less of a disappointment than I expected it to be - possibly because it wasn't directly connected with my doctoral work and doesn't have the same level of emotional involvement. Anyway, the chief criticism was that the scale of it was too small, which gives me a useful frame of reference regarding scope; and I've come away from it feeling like I've had a trial run at something for which I'll know how to be much better prepared in the future. And, importantly, to ask for help with - but that too, I think, will be easier now I have a clearer idea of what is expected. That was the fear, actually - that if I brought my work to someone saying I wanted to try and publish it, someone I knew, they might think me ridiculously deluded; but from an anonymous reviewer it's far, far easier to take. And besides, having done it once, I now know that no-one WILL think me ridiculously deluded - or if they do, it'll almost certainly never get back to me. Wow - see, this is why blogging's great. I've only just articulated that. There's always a bend in the learning curve...
So this is looking rather like a review of recent(ish) developments, which might be a good way to leave it, as for the verbally unchallenged such as myself these blog posts can easily over-extend themselves. I have thoughts on the future to spew forth also, but to keep it continent I'll end this here and blog again later in the week, when meetings have been had and thoughts/autumn skirts have been gathered.
From my splendid new study at Plas Heulwen, and the lovely rusting tree outside my window - am hwyraf!
